How To Overcome Perfectionism

personal development Nov 08, 2017

A perfectionist, can be described as a personality trait with high expectations, high performance standards, high levels of dissatisfaction and self-criticism, terrified of making mistakes and fearful of others’ disapproval.

In this article you will discover the Top 3 Mistakes Perfectionists Make That Keep Them Feeling Guilty, Unhappy and Stuck?

Mistake #1: Fear of success

If you are a perfectionist you have the willingness and the ability to achieve success however the fear of success and failure stop you from achieving your goals and striving.

What lies beyond perfectionism is fear; the fear of success and failure.

Why is this first mistake important?

Fear of failure: as a perfectionist you are terrified of making mistakes and showing vulnerability because these are associated with ‘not being perfect or good enough.’

Fear of success: since the perfectionist always looks for imperfections you might ask yourself: ‘am I worthy of success.’ You can achieve success in any area of your life, however you are doubtful and you wonder whether you are worthy of success.

Therefore, it is not the achievement of success that deludes you but your worthiness of it:

  • “Am I worthy of taking my life to the next level?”
  • “Am I worthy of happiness?”
  • “Am I worthy of joy?”

In order to increase your worthiness, you must be willing to accept and fall in love with the idea that your worthiness is determined by your capacity to love, and in this particular instance your capacity to love yourself more.

How can you begin to apply this concept of increased worthiness right away?

Start, every day, by appreciating yourself more and more: what do you love most about you? If you struggle with this, ask others what they love most about you?

You are worthy of love and life loves you.

Mistake #2: Procrastination

The fear of success and failure in any area of your life and procrastination go hand in hand. You procrastinate because you fear that:

  • You are not good enough
  • You might make too many mistakes
  • What you do will not be perfect
  • Others will not be happy with your performance, etc.

You worry about what others might think of you and the fear of not obtaining their approval paralyzes you and keeps you stuck. You are stuck not because you are not capable but before of the fear of ‘not being good enough.’

When you seek others’ approval you distance yourself from love.

Procrastination denotes a lack of self-confidence, assertiveness and decisiveness.

How can you begin to apply this concept of increased self-confidence right away?

In my previous blog Prescriptions For Self-Confidence I share 7 ways you can increase your self-confidence as follows:

1.     Become carefree

2.     Take control over your life

3.     Keep learning and growing in awareness about who you are

4.     Use ‘YES! I can’ affirmation often

5.     Forgive yourself and forgive others

6.     Failing is the new way forward

7.     Practise appreciation of yourself and others daily.

Mistake #3: Self-denial

As a perfectionist you set the bar so high that you have very high expectations you wish to meet. However, you put so many demands on yourself in terms of your own beingness and performance that this makes it harder for you to appreciate who you are authentically.

Since nothing is ‘ever good enough’, you operate, as a perfectionist, from a place of high expectations instead of operating from a place of acceptance.

How do you deny yourself love?

  • Each time you seek an other’s approval in order to feel good about yourself
  • Each time you do not follow your heart: you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’
  • Each time you are unkind to yourself and let your critical voice dominate
  • Each time you do not take a step forward and procrastinate
  • Each time you disapprove of yourself
  • Each time you refuse to forgive yourself
  • Each time you overthink things
  • Each time you follow your head instead of your heart.
  • Each time you feel inadequate
  • Each time you distance yourself from your authentic self
  • Each time you distance yourself from love

How can you begin to apply the concept of increased self-love right away?

Recognize your true nature: you are love, loveable and loving. This is your wholeness and completeness. As you make peace with yourself you find the courage to accept what is, you stop resisting love and you return to love.

Question: If you are a perfectionist what action could you take today to feel good enough and in flow?

 Special invitation: In order to improve your relationship with yourself through love and find greater inner peace, inner joy and balance, please learn more about our live workshop ‘Saying YES! TO Love’.

 

 

 

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