Learn The 3 Mistakes Single Mums Should Avoid

According to the statistics around 90% of single parents in the UK are women.

It takes a lot of courage, hard work and resilience to bring up a child or children single handily. I know how it feels, this was my mum’s story. From the late 60s, my mum brought up three children single handily. I was so aware of her suffering, her sense of guilt, shame, failure and her feelings of doubt and worry. Yet she managed and my sister, brother and I are her greatest pride and achievement to this day.

As a Transformational Change Agent, my life’s purpose is to support, empower and inspire women to regain their zest for life through love and joy in the context of understanding and compassion. If you are a single mum reading this article I know what you are going through and I would like to share with you the 3 mistakes single mums should avoid so that they can feel good about themselves, rebuild their life and regain their zest for life.

Mistake #1: they let themselves go

You have probably gone through a break-up recently or a long time ago and you have not been able to rebuild your life. You might feel in total despair and wondering if things will get better.

If you used to take care of yourself, your appearance (your hair, make up, clothing etc.) and have lost and neglected yourself it is time to reconnect.

Have some fun!

Reintroduce an activity you used to have and you stopped doing because you have not felt good about yourself.

Please allow some ‘me time’: do something for you. You can have a manicure, pedicure or buy a new dress for example. The purpose is to feel good about yourself again instead of losing yourself.

Another suggestion is to exercise in order to re-energize. It is scientifically proven that physical activity encourages the release of feel-good or happiness hormones like serotonin, endorphins and dopamine. The secret is to do an exercise that you like. If you do not want to do it alone like running for example find a friend you can go running with.

It is incredible how these little activities will boost your self-esteem and well-being.

Mistake #2: they sink into loneliness

Are you sinking into loneliness?

You feel very lonely inside because it is not what you had imagined for your child or children. Your dream was to create a family however that dream got chattered. As a result, you have isolated yourself.

Seek support from your closest family, your siblings, mum and dad or best friends etc.

Do not cut yourself off from your friends out of shame because your circumstances have changed. You can find some time to have conversations with your best friends or family members so that you can overcome the loneliness.

I encourage you to join a support network for single mums so that you do not struggle alone and find the support you need to bounce back and enjoy your life again.

Mistake #3: they cannot let go and move on

As a single mum you are probably going through so many emotions. You might feel so guilty about what happened that you cannot stop re-memorizing in your head what happened and what led to where you are today in the first place.

Find peace within so that you can feel empowered and beautiful inside. You might feel guilty, in total despair or like you are failing however you must empower yourself by changing your mindset as follows:

  • Respond more powerfully to your circumstances and do not let your circumstances dictate your future. You can bounce back when you change your limiting beliefs that: “you are in a never-ending tunnel with no light at the end” to one that: “life is happening for you and you can bounce back.”
  • It is your birth right to claim your inner power. According to universal laws you are never given a problem in life you cannot solve. What I admire most about my mum is her courage and resilience.

Life is full of ups and downs however when you empower yourself you stand back up much faster and move on.

You might feel attached to the past, what could have been or should have been, however with time you must let go and move on…

You cannot change the past what is done is done. However, in order regain your zest for life you must let go of your attachment to the past, make the most of each moment and plan a better future. In a few years/months-time when you feel more empowered and amazing inside you will look back with a smile on your face reflecting and thinking: “Why didn’t I do this sooner.”

The quicker you allow yourself to bounce back, the more the memories of the past, which created suffering remain in the past, the more you allow yourself to face the world again.

Question to accelerate your success:

  • From the 3 mistakes above, what mistake are you currently making and how could you solve it?

Relevant resource:

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